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Despite having one of the highest crime rates in the UK, more unemployment than most constituencies, longer waiting lists for the NHS than practically anywhere the good people of Clacton have responded positively to the news that Nigel Farage is going to be at Donald Trump's side while his ear scratch repairs and will stay until after the November elections to help his buddy get re-elected.
'It's only right, Donald Trump needs all the help he can get,' said Simon, queuing patiently at his local foodbank. 'Luckily Mr Farage will be able to afford the extended stay in America because he has his MP salary to survive on, plus whatever GB News is paying him. Otherwise I'd have started a crowdfund page for him using my benefits to kick it off,' he added.
Not everybody in Clacton shares Simon's lack of concern. Mary is worried he'll lose the GB News gig if he's based in America. 'If they start to threaten him, I'll contact my MP and ask him to intervene,' she suggested.
Initially a work of fiction, America has often been used as a metaphor for a country in decline, riddled with self-doubt and zombies– a bit like a Brexit Britain. The existence of an ‘actual’ America is contentious, as cartographers say that there needs to be something south of Canada, to stop the Mexicans invading Toronto. Some academics claim the first reference to America was in the Paris Climate Agreement – but nobody can find that now.
The original copyright was established in 1492, by Christopher Columbus (the guy who directed ‘Home Alone’). Meanwhile Native Americans have said they came up with the concept first – but no one cares what they think.
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