.
top of page
Search
A friend who says 'I'm really competitive' as an excuse to for being a complete d!ck to everyone you know, isn't competitive enough to seek help.
Although she was on the British Olympic team when she was 14, has a high paying job, and uses the Oxford comma, she still has a compulsion to belittle everyone she meets, and tells other people's children her children are better than them.
But it's OK because she is a valued member of society who drives the biggest SUV on the estate. Being an utter rsehole has become normalised because every oil company in the world pays seven figures for 'highly competitive people' to greenwash the fck out of their scorched Earth policies, and still be allowed out in public.
Now you come to think of it, she has never bought a round at the overpriced wine bar she drags everyone to.
'How far did my wee go?'
Much to his surprise, the new PM has discovered most criminal activity happens within an one mile radius of No.10. Explained one police officer: 'If you want a deviant or an embezler, just visit the House of Commons tea rooms.'
Bribery and corruption are standard, although Ministers have the good grace to make it tax deductible. Frustratingly for Starmer the courts are at breaking point, but he has had the genius idea to ennoble the worst offenders and use the Lords as a low-security prison.
Thanks to tip offs from Sir Keir, Interpol are on the look out for a notorious fraudster, with links to sex trafficking and war crimes. In other news Peter Mandelson has fled to Uruguay.
bottom of page