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Years after the collapse of civilization and several hours after Brexit, a lone road-warrior is to be given the task of rebuilding the UK's auto industry and fighting off marauding biker gangs. All cars will be in the style of a 1974 Ford Falcon XB sedan, but you will have choice of colour for your furry dice.
British cars will have less luxury extras as their continental rivals, but they will come with blades on the hubcaps and a complimentary sawn-off shotgun. While not compulsory, it is advised that passengers have a Mohawk hairstyle and bring a dingo - 'just in case'.
Mr. Max would bring a much needed optimism to the British car industry and the UK's leather-bondage haberdashers. Driving Safety campaigners cautiously welcomed the news: 'We don't condone killing your fellow motorists in a blood-thirsty revenge, but if it’s good enough for the Duke of Edinburgh. And if it keeps Jeremy Clarkson off the street...'
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'When Rishi Sunak asked me secretly to work on political strategy for him, I instantly told him he was on a hiding to nothing,' said a source close to former special adviser Dominic Cummings.
'Why did he ever think that an attention-seeking, narcissistic blabbermouth like me would work on anything for the government in secret, and not grab the chance to show off about it to the entire world?' he continued.
'"Oh, well. Forget about it, then," said the PM.
'"Forget about it?" I replied. "Fat chance. I will take this episode and crow about it, long and loud, from the top of the dungheap of hatred and bile that I call my blog."
'You can read my entire blabbermouth blog online, you know. Just Google "Monstrous Ego" and it'll come straight up.'
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