.
top of page
Search
In a bid to update the Monarchy and make it relevant to the youth, King Charles dressed in a red, white and blue Adidas tracksuit under his mink lined cape; his ceremonial crown (at a rakish tilt); and a pair of specially made trainers by Stella McCartney.
His rap, backgrounded by a hip hop beat version of Jerusalem, included lyrics such as:
"Inflation, across the nation, stagnation, what are we going to do? Tax the poor? What for? Trickle down from the rich population!"
And:
"No tents for the homeless, why G? They're dirty, don't vote Tory. We want a culture war, y'all. Make them tents fall."
It's widely anticipated that he will he end his speech with a call and response along the lines of:
"When I say Monarchy, you say more! Monarchy!....etc."
The speech ended with the King saying, "King Chuck out. No peace." whilst dropping his Sceptre and moonwalking out of Parliament.
In an attempt to curb Peace Protestors, the Met has issued a warning that anyone caught in groups of more than two will designated traitors. 'We will not directly ban the march, but all participants must be blindfolded and play the banjo.'
One protestor complained: 'These are just arbitrary rules. Whoever heard of have to recite the Lord's Prayer backwards in Swahili, while juggling a chainsaw and cantaloupe?'
The police clarified: 'You can march but only on ley lines, when it's a harvest moon and only when the Spice Girls reform. People have the right to protest, if accompanied by Dodo riding a Unicorn. And only on Leap Years.'
bottom of page