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Under plans drawn up by Bridgewater Town Council, motorists leaving their cars half way up a hedge will face a fine of up to £100. It is currently not an offence to leave your car sticking out of the Hawthorn or Privet in most areas of England although it is frowned upon in parts of Surbiton.
A spokesman for the council said that hedge parking was becoming an increasing nuisance in rural areas. “These motorists don’t understand the damage they cause to nesting birds and the possibility of livestock escaping.” Anyone swerving down a narrow lane after ten pints of Sui Cider is encouraged to up-end their car in a ditch rather than plough through the hedge.
Car owners in areas of high flood risk are expected to be exempt from the plans.
Throughout the pandemic the public had been warned to stay away from trains, so subsequently nobody fancies travelling in a sneeze-infested morgue, with limited Wi-Fi. Having seen a 25% drop in usage, one Rail Boss explained, from the safety of his private island: ‘We need to turn a healthy profit in the short-term, because these commuters are not going to be alive in the long-term.’
The Transport Minister insisted: ‘It’s only right that those who have been isolating, should now be forced to travel on cramped trains, to a densely populated city, only to bring infection back to their homes. And it’s only fair that they pay for the privilege.’
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