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Ferrari team member Jason Beesley has criticised facilities at the Las Vegas Grand Prix track saying driving conditions are “just unacceptable” and not fit for racing. Beesley said practice was cancelled for the day after drivers found themselves diverted from the race track following the first chicane and into a drive-thru casino where they were forced to play roulette, blackjack and baccarat before being allowed to continue with their practice lap.
Having made their way through the drive-thru casino the drivers were then guided across the track where a makeshift ticket box-office had been set up, offering tickets to see Barry Manilow and Engelbert Humperdink at the Westgate Vegas Resort and Hotel Auditorium. Race organisers also promised a race-day special when Depeche Mode lead singer David Gahan will be on hand to sign autographs for the drivers and sing tracks from the band’s forthcoming album.
Drivers were also given free donuts, milkshakes and a sweatshirt advertising Barney’s Burger Bar on Tropicana Avenue. A drive-through penalty was awarded to any driver that failed to eat a whole donut before joining the race without stopping. A spokesperson for governing body FIA admitted certain concessions had been made with track owners Taking Liberty and a few minor additions to the race schedule had been agreed but they did not think it would detract from the race-day experience.
Track owners say they are in talks with F1 bosses concerning the new track layout. “Safety is paramount at any F1 track and we think the slight alterations are in line with organisers safety standards…..although we thought it was a bit harsh they did not allow The Rat Pack to be stewards and race track officials for this one-off race. Dino was going to wave the chequered flag while drinking a martini, smoking a Marlborough and singing 'That's Amore' to the winner of the Vegas race....you won't get that at any other F1 race track. Their loss"
Everton have launched a staunch defence of their 10-point deduction in the Premier League by asking that if they are supposed to have gained an unfair advantage why are they still so shite? ‘It’s a disgrace’ says Everton director Fenton Barnes. ‘Anyone who has had to watch the crap served up on the pitch for the last few years will know that we don’t have any advantage over other teams, unfair or otherwise’. ‘I mean we signed Dele Alli for Christ’s sake, does that sound like a team that’s trying to gain an unfair advantage? And what about Man City? How do they get away with it? If we’re breaking the rules you’d think we might be challenging in Europe like them not hoofing it into the box in the 98th minute trying to get an equaliser at home to Fulham’ Everton are set to appeal the points deduction and will claim that their financial dealings were governed by events beyond their control. 'There are numerous mitigating factors’ says Barnes. ‘Like Covid, the war in Ukraine, the war in Gaza, Brexit, Storm Babet and the death of the Queen’.
‘The good news is that even with the 10-point deduction we’ll probably avoid relegation because the 3 teams that came up this year are even more shite than us’. Everton fans can rest assured that next year we’ll be back where a great club like ours belong - in the bottom lower half of the league 15 points behind Wolves?'
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