Man prompts outrage with terrifying '40-something-burnout' Halloween outfit

Norfolk man Rod Flannigan plans to 'dust off' his only pair of jeans combined with a threadbare Ghostbusters T-shirt, an ensemble he wears on any given day - with local parents concerned that it is too frightening for young Trick or Treaters.

'I'm all for a bit of spooky fun, but this is horrific' said neighbour and mum of three, Karen. 'Our five year old Jake isn't afraid of Freddy Krueger answering the door, but having to endure the sight what decades of mundane work, chicken nuggets and cripplingly low aspiration could do to him is just sick. Flannigan should have the decency to hide behind a mask, like the bloody rest of us.'

Rod remains defiant. 'No one is scared of ghouls and ghosts these days' said the 45 year old. 'What's really frightening is the state of the NHS, my cat's food bill and the last three Star Wars films.'

Image: ourterry Photos | FreeImages

Dirty diesel drivers aim to sabotage London ULEZ

If the ULEZ doesn’t improve air quality, then it will fail and be scrapped. In order to ensure that air quality doesn’t improve, a well financed group of dodgy drivers is procuring the highest emitting cars, usually dirty diesels from the emissions scandal era (Volkswagens), and driving them through London all day long.

A spokesman said ‘This is a well organised and legal protest. We pay the congestion charge and the ULEZ charge for each car. Then our recruits drive the cars round and round central London in circles spewing out noxious nasties to bugger up the air quality. We like to target Sadiq Khan’s office and we also like to drive back and forth past the emissions monitoring stations.’

‘We just hate clean air. It does cost us quite a lot, but we are footing the bill ourselves because you can’t put a price on democracy... unless you’re a Tory.’

Image: Brandon Green (@brandgreen) | Unsplash Photo Community

Suburban martial artist has a green belt

hat tip to sirlupus