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Using emergency legislation, the government is to give the Metropolitan Police new powers to arrest supporters of so-called 'Woke Causes' for newly introduced specific crimes.
Amendments to the Police Act, will soon allow officers to detain Black Lives Matter protesters for "possession of a knee with intent to kneel." Pedestrians who are still on a Pelican Crossing when the green man starts flashing can also be arrested for supporting Just Stop Oil and holding up the highway; as can cyclists who fail to give way to any motor vehicle that is behind them.
Speaking outside New Scotland Yard, a Met spokesman lauded the proposed changes to the law. He remarked, 'These sorely-needed updates to bring policing into the 21st century will greatly aid our officers in the execution of their duties. This is the biggest shake up of law enforcement in the capital, and most-needed, since the 1980s, when we could arrest someone simply for owning a Bob Marley LP, or speaking in public with an Irish accent.'
New documents show Britain's crumbling infrastructure, was a deliberate ploy to get us all to move into portable cabins. It is estimated that by 2025, 50% of all people and 99.9% of all pet rabbits, will be living in huts.
In the 80's portacabin sponsored the tv show 'Auf Wiedersehen, Pet' to promote it's glamorous lifestyle. Even Star Wars featured a character Jabba the Portacabin - but who was later renamed for the American market.
Speaking from Stalag 12 Comprehensive, one child remarked: 'The main benefit of flimsy ceilings, is they don't hurt so much when they fall on you.' Portacabin denied putting dangerous material into schools, saying: 'We leave that to the curriculum.'
Photo by Henry & Co. on Unsplash
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