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There has been uproar in Up-North with the introduction of the flawed legislation.
'We are truly sorry that this has come into force', said Crispin Posh-Ladd, MP for Dick-in-the-Mire. 'This was the result of a clerical error. It, of course, was meant to control the ownership of vicious brutes and the dogs that they own. Dogs such as the Bully XL, the Japanese Fukushima, the Bolivian Ball-biter and, of course, the Yorkshire Ankle-nipper. The aim was to have all them off the streets with a humane injection; likewise for the dogs.
'In the meantime, the population for the Northern Shithouse - I'm sorry - Powerhouse will have to go barefoot until the Act can be repealed'.
'This is another example of the incompetence of this Tory government', allegedly declared an irate Angela Rayner. 'They really are out of touch with the working people of this country'.
Willy Eckerslike of Barnsley comment 'I'll have to buy an alarm clock now. I used to get woken up for the early shift by the sound of clogs sparking on the cobbles. That's not going to be the case with bare feet flip-flopping down the road'.
In response, Mr Posh-Ladd said 'The matter is in hand. It's not as if we have banned head scarves and shawls as well'.
Stockholm Syndrome leads to strong emotional ties that develop between the harasser and the victim – which explains James Corden’s popularity. Despite years of abuse, most voters look set to ask Theresa May for five more years of bondage and tax avoidance. Famous victims of the syndrome include Nick Clegg and Rod Hull’s ‘Emu’.
Patterns of behaviour include an attachment to austerity and schadenfreude. With voters emerging from the polling booth, with same bleary-eyed acceptance of someone with a return ticket to ‘Josef Fritzl’s Dungeon of Fun’ or with a season ticket on Southern Rail.
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