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Covert recordings, taken at Emmanuel Macron’s post-election rally, reveal thousands of revellers may have been faking their French chants of support. On the tape, President Macron’s voice clearly drops several octaves – taking on a Ray Winstone-like quality - and is audibly heard telling the crowd: ‘…relax, the cameras are gone. Drop the phoney accent. Let’s all tuck into a nice tub of jellied eels.’
Unbeknownst to many, even Mimes’ silent yells, when trapped in an invisible box, have always been in English. Confessed one Gaelic fraud: ‘To be honest, I haven’t spoken French in years. I’ve just been making noises like ‘pfff’ and ‘bahhh’, while shrugging a lot’. Most only be pretend to understand French, while tutting and hiding behind the wine menu. Others spoke of their relief: ‘It will be wonderful to quit this charade – in fact, what is the English for ‘charade’? Ah, yes - ‘Tory Manifesto’.’
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Eleanor Evans recently went to a concert, filming most of it on her phone.
Evans said 'It was just like watching them on Youtube, but with the extra expense of tickets, drinks and a taxi home.'
'My video is amazing and I never get tired of showing it to people. How will people know I went to this gig otherwise? You can see the band about 50% of the time because of the backs of people’s heads. The other 50% I was jumping up and down so the footage makes you feel physically sick. Plus the sound is really tinny and you can hear the couple next to us having a full blown row – she should definitely leave him.'
'However, I couldn’t believe how many people were on their phones during the gig. You can see it in my video. So disrespectful.'
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