Spotted near the Drumnadrochit Hotel: the Jacob Ness-Mogg

Sunak describes celebration he had planned if Lionesses had won

Standing outside No.10, the Prime Minister listed all the things he had planned that were now not going to happen. “Not only was everyone going to get an extra Bank holiday, but we might also now have to cancel the one next week. I was personally going to fund street parties and pay for all the sad party food that you lot consider special. The completion of those hospitals is now postponed, due to poor defending. And inadequate marking has led to no pay raise for the public sector for many years to come.”

Waving a sealed envelope, he added “Well, the fully costed celebration plan will just have to be shredded now, no need to look at all the nice things you now can’t have.”

“Maybe having a woman in a managerial position of that kind of importance was a mistake and Sarina Wiegman is a bit out of her depth. Anyway, maybe have a word with her about not getting the gift vouchers I was going to send to every UK citizen.”

“Quite frankly, I am glad I didn’t go out there and watch the match, looking at the damage they have done to the UK economy.”

He then turned around, and hummed a little tune to himself as he went back inside

image from pixabay

Pepsi workers sacked after testing positive for coke

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