Hey, Nige! Did you hear about Alison Rose's £2.4m payout?

Mastodon: birds evolving back into prehistoric animals due to Eon Tusk

People are flocking away from flocking Twitter (or is it X?) in their flocking millions.

A little Tweety bird has been beheaded, plucked and stuffed nicely in time for a summer barbecue snack. Divisive platform of limitless insanity, Eon Tusk, caused global inflation by overpaying billions of coin for one item. But then, in a series of genius business entrepreneur masterstrokes, Tusk devalued Twitter, fired half of the employees who made it work, and then killed off its brand recognition by renaming it X.

In a flurry of feathers and tortuous squawking, Twitter users flocked off to other environments, evolving into other forms. One such form takes that of the Mastodon, a prehistoric, furry, elephant-like creature now roaming the plains of social network land and the fediverse. Mastodon is growing and expanding at a rate not seen since... since... people left Facebook for Twitter.

If half the talent of Twitter now exists elsewhere, who's to say they won't coalesce, reforming innovative adaptations of Twitter in new and improved ways? Is it the survival of the featheriest? Or is it now the survival of the furriest? And if birds came from dinosaurs and return to being prehistoric animals, what's the word for the opposite of evolution?

Image created by and courtesy of Stux

Mother of All Bombs – as disappointed as any mother

With the withering wrath that only a mother knows, a bomb was dropped on an Afghan tunnel complex, with the attached message 'You never phone me'.  Unleashing the full fury of her disappointment, the US weapon was specifically designed to flush out, then 'guilt-out', enemy insurgents and forgetful sons.

Despite not wanting ‘to be a burden to anyone', weighing in at 9,800kg, the 'MOAB' is the world's largest non-nuclear device.  The bomb itself is 9m long and capable of demanding to know why the leader of I.S. won't trim his beard, tidy his room or settle down with a nice girl?

MOAB has said she is saddened by all these martyrs and not a grandchild in sight.  She confided: 'All this talk of jihad is killing me. Well, it's killing him and his career. Fundamentalism?  I suppose it's an 'ism'. But what's an 'ism' it's not an 'ology'.'

www.newsbiscuit.com

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