.
top of page
Search
What should have been a weekend of bonhomie quickly became a critique of the host’s lack of gluten-free meal options and their miserly hoarding of the Wi-Fi password. The guests complained: ‘Where was the choice of cheese boards? Moreover, the turn down service was practically non-existent. One couple we visited offered reflexology, loft storage and a suitcase-stand they’d whittled by hand.’
The owners defended their position: ‘We did everything we could to make them feel welcomed. We laughed at their racist jokes, deliberately lost at Scrabble! We even provided a series of tasteful, but impractically small, shampoo bottles - stolen from a range of exclusive hotels.
‘We were both very diplomatic; I didn’t mention his second wife or Brexit and Matt hardly ever stared at Sally’s boob job. I took the dog’s blanket off the spare bed and we even muted our sex noises. I almost don’t feel guilty now for having pissed in the soup.’
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
 |  |  |
bottom of page