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A government spokesperson stated today that the government agrees it has run roughshod over the aspirations of the population. 'The youth of today dare not dream of owning a house, of having a worthwhile career, of a decent society,' he said. Acknowledging that the government is likely to face the toughest election since 1997, he said they had decided on a change of policy.
'We will allow people to dream of owning a house. We want them to be able to imagine having a career. We're not going to do anything to enable these aspirations, of course, but they have our permission. If they vote us in next time we'll add a few more items to their wish lists, such as hoping not to freeze in their parents' home, but don't hold your breath,' he said.
Image: sue_r_b Photos | FreeImages
It has just been announced that union reps and the workers they represent will record a modern version of a Christmas classic in order to raise money for people currently suffering with the cost-of-living crisis.
If you'd like to sing along when you hear it on the radio or at your local picket line, here are your lyrics:
The Twelve Days of Staggered Walkouts
On the first day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
A vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the second day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the third day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the fourth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the fifth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the sixth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the seventh day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Seven deadly sins
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the eighth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Eight feelings sinking
Seven deadly sins
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the ninth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Nine heaters heating
Eight feelings sinking
Seven deadly sins
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the tenth day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Ten people tweeting
Nine heaters heating
Eight feelings sinking
Seven deadly sins
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the eleventh day of staggered walkouts
My union rep gave to me
Eleven police policing
Ten people tweeting
Nine heaters heating
Eight feelings sinking
Seven deadly sins
Six placards waving
Five cold pas-ties
Four quite strong words
Three biro pens
Two reasons to chant stuff
And a vest of high visibi-li-ty
On the twelfth day of staggered walkouts
My manager gave to me
My P45
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