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A City Trader snorted a line of cocaine from a stripper's cleavage before noting that having a former hedge fund manager as PM meant financial deregulation was inevitable.
'Rishi is removing protections designed to prevent a repeat of the 2008 financial crisis so that we can learn nothing and do it again. Yay! The City of London is like The Purge now and we know the government will bail us out with zero consequences. Well, zero consequences for us. By the time we've siphoned off our cut to the Cayman Islands - tax free obvs - there will be nothing for public services for you plebs. I've always thought there were too many public libraries and social care was too well funded anyway. Plus Rishi can make sure whatever scraps we leave only go to the most affluent areas. He said so himself, in public, on camera. Ha ha. Legend.'
Looking for a stocking filler? Want to buy the perfect gift? Want to drop the ultimate hint to your partner?*
Earth to be Recycled and other stories is the 2022 NewsBiscuit annual now available from Amazon in Hardback, Paperback and eBook versions. With over 1000 short comedic stories, 12 pages of one-line gags and a fair sprinkling of NewsBiscuit cartoons the book makes the perfect Christmas gift.
*Pint this page out and leave it lying around, or hack into their tablet and bookmark the page. It's not that illegal, surely?
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