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Airbnb has promised couples the choice of spycam-free rooms "for a small surcharge" which guarantees their stay won't be live-streamed to PornHub. This follows a complaint by a Sheffield couple who were shocked to learn they'd inadvertently won the porn equivalent of an Oscar after their weekend in Margate.
"This new policy should give customers an extra hour to enjoy their holiday, which is the time they'd otherwise put in shaking out flowerpots and taking apart fire alarms in the search for perv cams", says an Airbnb spokesman. "Our $50 surcharge offers priceless peace of mind".
While conceding that Airbnb entrepreneurs "like the extra perks" they get for renting their houses to strangers, he said they need to move with the times. "Renters who want to spy on their guests will just have do to it the old-fashioned way and bore a hole in the wall", he said. "That was good enough for Norman Bates".
In order to unlock the PM2025 skin, players of democracy need to complete a series of arbitrary tasks, each more pointless than the next. The primary quest-giver is Rupert Murdoch, who will send the adventurers on a journey into the bowels of his bowels.
Although it has no direct bearing of the main quest of saving the UK, by collecting 1000 poppies a politician can get themselves 10 Daily Mail stars. These stars can be traded in for a variety of racist powers, such as the dogwhistle, the white hood and the top tier 'rivers of blood' spell.
Said one wannabee PM: 'It can feel like a grind but I've been collecting poppies since October. And the one who gets the most gets to have all the wars they want.'
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