Bono's half brother revealed to be BoJo

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Wet Wipe Island is not a sequel to our reality dating show, ITV stresses

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Living rent free in someone’s head is the only rent you can afford

Explained one 20-something: ‘For a long time I was paying £1000 a month to a landlord with the ethics of a Moray eel. But then I decided to annoy an LBC Radio listener by becoming pansexual and I’ve been living rent free in his head ever since’.

One BLM activist remarked: ‘Since I pulled down a statue of a slaveowner last year, I’ve been living in the heads of most of the homeowners in Chelsea. It’s a massive upgrade from the squats I’m used to. And during the summer months, I spend my time living in a chateau with the Tory Peer who keeps thinking about how they would love to lock me up’.

A Mr. Jeremy Corbyn, of no fixed abode, admitted: ‘I’ve been living rent free in James O’Brien’s head for the last three years and the great thing is, its so spacious’.