Music shop thief loots low hanging flutes

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"If her Maj hasn't replied, then she's probably at a better street party."

Winner: deskpilot

Runners-Up: "...and then Gino d'Acampo dropped his kecks, stuck two lemons up his arse and squeezed them into my frying pan..." (dickeveryman); "Don't worry, Sue Gray - it's a wok event" (jimskinz).

Bookmaker donates his Lester Piggott voodoo doll to Jockey Club