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Tory MP told he cannot take sombrero into Commons


The Speaker of the House of Commons has told a Conservative MP he cannot take his sombrero into the House during late night sittings.


The MP was spotted trying to smuggle a large hat into the chambers late on Friday night. Although there are no actual rules forbidding the wearing of hats in the Commons, the Speaker said MPs should dress in a business-like manner and a sombrero was not considered appropriate attire for the occasion.


When asked why he wanted to take a sombrero into the Commons, the MP said it was a personal matter and he was not at liberty to divulge his reasons. But it definitely was not to hide erections.


Then, in a classic Conservative u-turn, the MP did let slip that he had been told by a fellow Tory MP that if he was thinking about getting a head in the Commons, he should seriously think about getting a hat.


'It was something along those lines... although to be fair he was wearing a ball-gag at the time'.



Image from Pixabay by fotshot


Top Gear trial self-drive car, with hands-free racism


The vehicle will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on pejorative terms for Asians. They will be able to indulge in awkward anecdotes about German people, without having to worry about the cumbersome task of being racist while parallel parking.


The electric car will be affordable for all viewers who are concerned about whether the Stig is Polish and comes with a Sat-Nav that uses the N-word. Jeremy Clarkson has expressed some concern himself, that self-drive technology will take the skill out of being prejudiced, insisting that you still require human input to be an ar$ehole.




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