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Forced to film in this country because of travel restrictions, 2021 has seen every inch of the UK traversed by Z-listers, walking/cycling/driving on all expense jollies, trampling all before them as they discover the hidden gems/coasts/food of this wonderful country of ours.


At least it would be wonderful if motorists weren’t being buzzed by the now obligatory camera drones, and if the roads weren’t cluttered by celeb and film crew vehicles, plus best-friend/offspring/someone-who-just-happens-to-share-the-same-agent, wittering inanely about how this trip means so-much/rediscovering-the-past/raking-in-some-much-needed-cash.


Any craftsperson/artisan-baker/dying-art-exponent has had their workplace disrupted while they demonstrate their skill to an ungrateful production team who simply want a comedic/poignant/filler few minutes while the has-been tries it for themselves/comedic-effect/2-minutes-maximum.


Expect travel restrictions to the continent maintained next year, not because of Covid but simply to keep out the inevitable influx of British TV nonentities keen to escape a UK that’s been travelogued to death.






A spokesman for Nick Fletcher MP has explained that all crime, not only in the UK but throughout the commonwealth is down to having a female Queen.


"Why oh why has this enforced diversity taken hold.", complained Mr Fletcher, "This all dates back to Edward VIII being forced to abdicate just for wanting to marry an American. And for being a little bit Naziish.


"It's time we reversed this tide. If the next is line is a woman, why not find a man who's happy to dress as a queen - I know plenty of chaps in the Conservative party who'd be up for that."






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