60% of children walking to school by 2035—the rest should drive themselves
The Government proposes that most kids should make active travel plans, while the others need to pass their driving license sharpish. Guidance includes strapping several lunchboxes to their feet to reach the pedals — the heavier the sandwiches, the safer the braking. A Minister explained, "We will provide child-friendly routes, by attaching a small bell to the bonnet that rings louder the closer they get to doing something ill-advised. We'll install unnecessary buttons that c
Oblivion crisis deepens
While the government has worked hard to reduce the amount of foreigners entering the country by boat, plane and bus replacement service, the real problem is the increase in Oblivions. 'Superficially they look like us, speak like us and are seemingly embedded in our culture,' said a government spokesman today, 'but they hunt in packs, taking non-oblivions down every day,' he added. Oblivions walk around supermarkets, stopping suddenly or turning without notice in front of othe
