World 'couldn't give a stuff' about Trump anymore
'I know I should care, he's got the nuclear codes, he's a fruitcake, he's destroying world alliances and it's pretty obvious he's manipulating financial markets for himself and his family,' said the leader of a major European country, 'but honestly, I couldn't give a flying f@ck anymore,' he added. World leaders have come to realise that kow-towing to the Trump administration doesn't insulate their countries from his erratic herky-jerky mood swings. Bucking him does result i
Starmer brings back paganism with civil service sacrifices
The Prime Minister is to reintroduce 2,000 year-old pagan religion to Britain and has already started by making the first human sacrifice. Prime Druid Sir Keir Starmer performed the Celtic-style ritual at the Despatch Box in the Commons on a pleasantly boring civil servant called Sir Olly Robbins. Starmer wished to appease the gods, having suffered terrible misfortunes after appointing Lord Mandelson as UK ambassador. "Those gods must have really had it in for High Priest Sta
