Donald Trump has responded to being shot at by labelling a possible second term in the White House as the Trump Supremacy and a third term as the Trump Ultimatum.
On a hastily deleted Truth Social post, his little thumbs typed:
'I swatted away those bullets with only my fists and the American flag. True story. Perhaps the most important thing is that being shot at will give me a boost in the polls. So despite being an absolute gold plated ar$ehole, I might win the election and never have to face any consequences for any of my past crimes. And future crimes and I will be committing so many crimes.'
'Being shot in the ear is the perfect amount of being shot. I'm totally fine, yet somehow an invincible hero. We should not politicise this tragedy, which is all the fault of Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama.'
'Don't worry, I'm still a demented old racist, bent on using the American justice system to punish anyone I deem insufficiently loyal to me. I will still sexually assault women and then I will ban abortion. In a Trump Presidency, rape will no longer be a crime if you think she secretly wanted it.'
'I'm looking forward to being in President Putin's pocket, selling out Ukraine, Gaza and anywhere else, sucking up to despots and defeating democracy wherever it raises its ugly head.'
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