In a defiant statement against sceptics of Pakistan's claim not to support terrorism, President Zardari has today confirmed that £80 million of state funds will be diverted to aid flood victims in North Pakistan.
An unidentified Pakistani official commented, "This is an unprecedented move by this government to support its people. And it looks good, too. Besides, Al Qaeda will need an escape route from Afghanistan, won't they, so the money won't be wasted after all."
Zardari himself was unavailable for comment, saying, "sod off, I'm watching the cricket".