Gimps up and down the UK have today announced they will hold a ballot on strike action in an attempt to force better working conditions. This is the latest twist in a saga that has been running for many years.
Colin Mahoney of the Gimp Union UKGU has today spoken out, “for too long we have been made to work in degrading, confined and frankly unsanitary conditions. We have had enough.
“On top of this, physical abuse is now at seriously high levels, back in the old days it was a couple of whips here and there, maybe some spanking, but now it’s out of control. Just yesterday someone jammed a golf ball in my mouth, stood on me in golf spikes and walloped my rear with their 1 wood. What kind of sick sexual deviant enjoys that? It wasn’t in my job description.”
Andrew Geoffrey, a Gimp who wishes to remain nameless had this to say, “I got into gimping as a way to meet ladies, it seemed fun at the start, but then it changed. The ladies started kicking me in the testicles, calling me names and locking me in cages…I’ll tell you nothing prepares you for waking up to heavy duty nipple clamps at 7am.”
As yet the Sexual Deviants hierarchy has issued just one comment, “ignore the Gimps, they’re very naughty, dirty boys. Just wait till we get our hands on some later.”