Cameron thrown out of special relationship for 'Don't ask don't tell' breach
David Cameron was thrown out of the US UK special relationship last night following his admission he was a "practicing junior partner".
It was hoped among campaigners that the British PMs outing of the UK as the lesser in the relationship with the US would bring about the end of the don’t ask don’t tell policy.
But the admission only highlighted the pointlessness of having Britain as an ally at all, according to a senior Washington source.
"This was a maverick move that has backfired for Mr. Cameron," the source continued.
"Things were going fine, everyone knew the deal – there was no need to come out of the closet like this and rock the boat – he’s brought shame on himself and his country."
In a bid to hastily find a new special relationship, Cameron attempted to ridicule Pakistan to get in to bed with India.
A senior Cabinet Coalition Minister said that Cameron was now "running around like a drunk teenager trying to get laid at the end of the disco".
"He came out, but he needs to come back in quickly before the whole world thinks they can’t go to war with us because we will be looking at them and not concentrating on the fighting."
President Obama refused to comment on the gaff claiming he had never even heard of a UK.