Roy Wood, lead singer of the 1970s glam rock band Wizzard, has apologised for his role in ensuring that is now Christmas every day. Over forty years since Wizzard hit Number Two in the Christmas charts with 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day', just behind Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody', market observers agree that Wood's remarkable vision has finally come true.
'In my defence, I wrote the song while we were staying in this crummy B&B in South Shields on a wet afternoon in March,' said the hirsute Midlander, who now manages an organic fruit farm in Shropshire that he bought with the royalties from the song. 'I got homesick and started thinking, wouldn't it be nice if it was Christmas every day, you know, like when the kids start singing and the band begins to play? How was I to know what would happen next?'
With Christmas ads starting in September to target October pay packets, a relentless onslaught from then until December and an unsold pile of utterly unbelievable tat staying in the shops on 3-for-2 offers until April, followed by venues planning their marketing campaigns for office Christmas parties in May, analysts agree that it really is Christmas every bastard day. Given that many country houses are now already advertising their Easter Egg hunts, it is also coming close to being Easter every day as well.
Wood added that he is also perfectly well aware that snow is the result of complex meteorological interactions and the snowman doesn't actually 'bring his snow'.
'I was off my big hairy moobs on coke when I wrote that bit. I might be from Birmingham but I'm not THAT thick,' he said in a telephone interview earlier today. 'Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go now, the police are knocking at the door. What they'd want with a clapped out popular entertainer from the 1970s like me, I can't imagine.'
