Following his decision to join forces with the Conservatives, Lib Dem leader, Nick Clegg, has seen his sexual attractiveness plummet.
The Facebook group, ‘Nick Clegg? I would’ has seen its membership drop by 40% in the last three months. Coming so soon after the giddy highs of the leadership debates, this will be seen as a personal disaster for Mr Clegg.
Former Lib Dem leader and fellow thinking women’s crumpet, Lord Ashdown, said, ‘I have known little Nicky since he was a wee young devil and I know he will be devastated by this news. I remember saying to him once, “Nick, if you want to succeed in this life, you must be a pillar of virtue in the Commons, and a whore in the bedroom.” Unfortunately, he has done the exact opposite.’
Experts now believe that the coalition has taken on even greater importance for Mr Clegg. If it collapses and another General Election is called, the Liberal Democrats may actually suffer as a result of the worsening online profile and reduced attractiveness of their leader.
Political commentator and social media expert, sexyprof54, said, ‘Sexiness has long been an important asset in politics. From Anthony Eden to Margaret Thatcher and more recently, Tony Blair, people have always sought to elect PMILFs. It is scientifically proven that we would rather a beautiful person screwed up our country than a grotesquely ugly one.
‘In more recent times, social media has played a greater role in elections. It is commonly accepted that had Barack Obama not embraced social networking, there is little doubt that John McCain would now be in the White House. There is no other explanation for Mr Obama’s victory, apart from his extreme sexiness obviously. Indeed, the Democrats were in the wonderful position of choosing between the very sexy Obama or the very sexy Hillary Clinton, so either way they were sure to win.’
The reversal in Mr Clegg’s fortunes is as swift and dramatic as the surge in popularity he enjoyed during the pre-Election leadership debates. Back then, the forums were awash with women flushed with animal lust (or possibly the menopause) for the Lib Dem love god.
Many of his admirers are now too embarrassed to speak out, but one brave lady, henmaniac1965, did write on her wall, ‘When he looked straight down that camera lens and spoke to the nation, it was like he was ravishing me with his eyes. Ooh, he could be as Liberal as he liked with me! I haven’t felt that giddy since Tiger Tim last pumped his fist at SW19. Now, Nick Clegg? I certainly would not!’
Hot on the heels of his Party’s poor showing in a recent poll, Mr Clegg is said to be increasingly desperate to reverse his fortunes, and has reportedly pleaded with Rebekah Brooks to let him appear as a Page 7 Fella in tomorrow's Sun (‘tackle out if it helps’).
Reports that Mr Clegg has cancelled the print run of his 2011 calendar can not be confirmed.