The government has today announced plans to offer 'a good slap' to women who turn up at Police stations and complain they've been raped after changing their mind about having sex once they sober up.
The Home secretary announced that trained advisers would dole out a 'stern lecture about not being a slapper' to any woman who goes to the police because she's unable to tell the difference between a bad decision and a sexual attack..
'The police are very keen to prosecute actual rapes, but quite frankly we're all very bored of silly slappers wasting the police's time when there are real victims who need our help. Our trained ear-benders will make sure that if these women turn up once, they certainly won't be coming back.'
