According to new research, changing your name to New Research makes you 93% more likely to be have your views used to fill up useless column inches with old wives tales.
In her paper "Rent a quote in the 21st Century", Mrs Research (writing under her maiden name Chase New Err) said, "All research indicates that your name is important if you want to be quoted in vague articles in the popular press."
Links:
See archive wedding photos of the marriage between Chase New Err and Al L. Research
Want a quote to back up your prejudices? Contact New Research and Al L Research here