New concept allows holidaymakers to take bogus posh holidays whilst staying on the cheap in the UK
As people continue to struggle with the demands of the economy, a travel company has come up with a money saving idea where a family can go on cheap holiday in the UK whilst keeping up the pretence that they have been holidaying in some exotic exclusive location abroad.
‘Impress Holidays’ is a whole new concept,’ enthused managing director Matt Sharp pointing to their slogan: ‘It’s not lying; it’s being economical with the holiday.’
‘Whilst your envious friends are wondering how on earth you can afford to holiday in the Maldives, you are really staying on a caravan site in Tenby for a fraction of the price. To maintain the authenticity, we provide you with holiday photos featuring yourselves and members of your family, souvenirs and arrange for post cards to be sent from the luxury resort of your choice. We even throw in a bottle of self-tanning lotion to complete the deception.’
Mr Sharp said the every eventuality has been thought of to ensure a trouble free holiday. ‘If there is any problem during the journey to your virtual holiday destination we ensure it is reflected in your holiday package. So far this year we have provided false photographs of customers being held up at airports due to volcanic ash delays and BA cabin crew strikes. The same applies once you arrive at your virtual destination. One couple virtually holidaying in Louisiana have already ‘returned’ with oil stained clothes courtesy of our service team. We have even filed a law suit with BP for damages on their behalf.”
At the moment, the holidays are restricted to couples or families with children under the age of two. ‘We have experienced one or two instances of stroppy kids grassing up their parents by telling their neighbours that their no expenses spared visit to Orlando had actually been a fortnight at Butlins, Skegness,’ said Mr Sharp. ‘That was rather awkward.’
‘We offer our guests thorough preparation’, continued Mr Sharp. ‘Our top package includes simulated pictures of your delayed travel party waiting around at the airport with extortionate airport hotels bills to show your friends. In the event of your ‘scheduled plane’ crashing, our specially selected package insurance will provide you and your family the cost of a generous funeral and a complete new identity.’