Reporting the findings of a three year study, in Nature, Professor Andrew Pale, indicates that a 'stich in time may save 3 or it may save 11 - there is no definitive answer. It would appear that the original assertion may be a spurious one. Historically, it is possible that one or two people found that the single stitch saved nine and inappropriately extrapolated...we may never know.'
Bill Rammell, Minister for Higher Education said: 'This is exactly the sort of real-world research we need. Professor Pale and his colleagues at Thames Valley University are to be congratulated. This type of study can aid housewives and househusbands to get darning at the apropriate moment, rather than working to a specific time-frame, moving forward. Of course, it may also help those in civic partnerships too' he added hastily. 'I believe that many of a gay persuasion make very useful little sewers'.
Mr Rammell continued: 'I will certainly be supporting Prof Pales' Department of Cutting, Undoing, Needlework and Tatting, despite the present wave of cuts. I may know little about higher education but I know that darning is more important than philosophy or maths to a cash-strapped single parent.'