It was a wedding like no other. One party arrived swinging from a rope borne by a helicopter. The other came bursting through a specially prepared set of saloon doors. The guests wore all-black costumes or cowboy outfits and wire spectacles. The cake was black and white chocolate. The reception took place at a smart London Embassy, where the host took pleasure in spoiling everyone.
But somehow, the duo melted, and now, the Milky Bar Kid and the Milk Tray Man, married last year, are no longer sweet on each other. It’s understood there were recriminations over obesity, dental bills and rival percentages of cocoa solids. The Milky Bar Kid described the Milk Tray Man as ‘too fat to climb up into hotel windows.’ The Milk Tray Man told friends the Milky Bar Kid was expressing a growing preference for ‘dark chocolate’ and his bar was becoming ‘less milky’, and he was going back to live at his Mars.
According to some sources the end came when the Milk Tray Man, hanging around aimlessly, appeared as the Arab in a new Turkish Delight commercial, bu there were complaints from the camel. Meanwhile Paparazzi hanging round the couple’s Quality Street home late at night snapped the Kid coming home with a liqueur-filled fancy, only to be labelled a Flake by the MTM. 'I found him with a mouthful of Bailey's', he told the Daily Mail. 'This has brought things to a Crunchie.'
