‘The trouble is, you can be hit by this at any time,’ explains Microbiologist Jenny Smythe. ‘Obviously when you’re under the weather, a coleslaw just adds to the suffering.’ Professor Smythe explained to a conference of health journalists: ‘A coleslaw happens when a Brassica oleracea or cabbage comes into contact with tiny fragments of daucus carota (the common carrot) invisible to the naked. A curious pus like substance is secreted, which was first discovered by writer Lilian Hellman. The mixture leads an unsightly phenomenon that can linger on the upper lip if not treated properly by dabbing with a McDonalds serviette and discreet spitting.'
Professor Smythe said the best way of avoiding a coleslaw is to have proper salads including lettuce, tomato and even cucumberbatch. She went on to describe how ‘Russian Salad’ can look very much like sick.
