Nick Clegg was left in a mass of tears yesterday after his penquin shaped helium balloon blew off after he let it slip from his grasp at London Zoo. ' We decided that we needed to pad out the summer holidays by taking him sight seeing so it was such a shame the day ended like that for poor Nicholas' explained David Cameron ' he'd waited so patiently all day for his good behaviour treat of a helium balloon in the shape of Skipper the penquin from the Madagascar film that he likes so much and within minutes of me buying it for him he let it go and it was a goner'.
Clegg initially thought that he could simply go and pick it up expecting it to blow around harmlessley in front of the entrance of the chimpanzee house but was stunned into amazement as it just took off and blew off into the sky. Cameron tried desperatley to explain the law of helium gas and how inert monotamic gases are lighter han air but this did not stop a sobbing Clegg wailing out ' I don't care about monotamic gas. I want my Skipper back '.
Cameron attempted to console him further by adding ' don't worry Nicholas, i'll let you get away with your electoral reform idea's, that or just buy you another penquin '.