Plans to build Jerusalem ‘in England’s Green and Pleasant Land’ have been scuppered. Chief Planning Officer, Bill Greenwood, admitted it had been a difficult decision. “Strong passions were aroused on either side”, he said. “The pro-Jerusalem lobby expressed themselves loudly and forcibly - usually in song, occasionally in tune. It’s hard to tell such passionate advocates that if Jerusalem is to be built at all, then it should be on a brownfield site.
“Of course, enthusiasm for the pleasant pastures option appears to have waned over the past few days, since the DVLA refused to give a certificate of roadworthiness, retrospectively, to chariots of fire. And don’t get me started about bows of burning gold and arrows of desire. As Derek ‘Satanic’ Mills, our Health and Safety Officer says, you could have somebody’s eye out with one of those!”…
