A 24-year old Swansea man has vowed to give up the month of October "because it's a load of shite". Ivan Ratcliffe plans to wipe out the month entirely, by embarking on a bed and booze binge which he hopes will last the full 31 days.
"I'm calling it Noctober, which just basically means no October. It's a pathetic and useless month and I don't really know why we still have it in this day and age."
"I might pop out on Halloween if I feel like it", says Ratcliffe, "because I like a bit of trick or treat. Otherwise I intend to remain comatose as much as possible."
Ratcliffe's alcohol-induced 4-week stupor stands in sharp contrast to the plans of his best mates who have sworn to give up booze and fags, donating the money saved to worthwhile charities.
But Ratcliffe is not impressed. "With none of them drinking and smoking and probably not even wanking, what's the point in waking? Boring old buggers."
