A leading porcinist and Professor of Animal Husbandry at the University of Bullingdon Farm (formerly Cold Comfort Polytechnic) has declared herself outraged at what she sees as victim-blaming in the case of the Prime Minister's tryst with a pig's head.
"Let's be clear about this," she said. "There can never be any excuse for sexual intimacy with an animal unless the animal has clearly and unambiguously consented. The animal's severed head is not capable of giving such consent.
"And I'm sick of hearing all the usual excuses. No matter how pretty their little curly tails look, no matter how enticingly they wallow in a mixture of mud and shit whilst emitting those "come hither" grunts, consent cannot be assumed. Even if the same pig has consented many times before.
"Nor is it relevant to ask what they were doing outside the sty with a stranger at that time of night. They couldn't be expected to know he would one day become Tory leader."