Police are appealing to David Hasselhoff, star of Knight Rider and Baywatch, to hand himself in following a disturbance near Hadrian's Wall, Northumbria yesterday, in which Mr Hasselhoff, 58, was alleged to have damaged a small section of the 2000-year-old Roman monument.
Eye-witnesses report that Hasselhoff arrived at the historical site with sound equipment and a portable generator, which he proceeded to set up next to the Wall, before announcing to the growing crowd of curious onlookers that he was going to "unite this divided community"
"He looked a bit unsteady on his feet, like,” said local tour guide Nick Kemp, “but he kept saying that he heard that the area needed healing and we needed to tear down this f**king wall. Then he started singing ‘Looking for Freedom’. It went on for ages. ”
Eye-witnesses allege that after completing a 15-minute rendition of his 1989 hit, which went to #1 in Germany and two other countries, Hasselhoff took a pick-axe to a small section of the wall, dislodging several stones, before fleeing when police arrived.
Chief Inspector Simon Keeling of the Northumbria police force, who is coordinating the hunt for David Hasselhoff said that they had every hope for a peaceful resolution, but that the public should remain indoors with ears plugged.