It can be revealed that a group of Broadband service providers have been working in secret on a range of exciting new products. The first to be unveiled next month is the 'pantsonfire' car. Its top speed has been confidently measured by the team of service providers at 300 mph with a staggering 187 mpg although they warn that in some areas this may be lower.
Planned for rollout in the new year is the broadband condom. These come fitted with a free virus checker. At 12 inches long they have been designed to fit the average man. Although the broadband providers warn that these inches cannot be guaranteed and may in fact be far smaller in the real world.