North Korean threats of a massive retaliatory invective strike against the US and South Korea intensified last night after the hermit communist state made clear its disapproval of war games being conducted by US and S Korean warships in the Sea of Japan.
In a carefully worded statement, the state-run Korean Central News Service (KCNA) said:
‘The US bastards and their imperialist running dog bastards in Seoul will pay a heavy price for their criminal provocative act of war against peace loving North Korea. We promise to launch a massive invective strike against the capitalist criminal pigs and will flatten the reactionary evil American scum and their traitorous lickspittles in Seoul.’
A Pentagon spokesman said the US had been aware for some time that North Korea was secretly stockpiling an arsenal of offensive words that could be launched at the country’s enemies. He said:
‘We have reason to believe that Pyongyang has been smuggling words into the country from other states and that it now possesses a large and vitriolic international vocabulary to be deployed in the event of a major war of words in the region. Although its past attacks have failed, it has now developed the capability of launching an abusive attack in languages other than Korean.’
The Pentagon spokesman said the US’s Sticks and Stones Defence Shield would thwart any North Korean invective offensive. ‘We have the capability of defending ourselves against an offensive intercontinental invective attack of many megabytes,’ he claimed. ‘We could defeat an attack the size of the Shorter Oxford Dictionary of English,’ he added.
Asked if he was concerned about the North Korean threat, Capt. David Lausman, the USS George Washington’s commanding officer in the Sea of Japan, said:
‘Hell, no. Why, we’ll just stick our fingers in our ears, and nuke ‘em.’