Sir John Chilcot, who has come under intense pressure recently to publish the results of his enquiry into the Iraq war, today claimed that choosing a nice design for the cover was the reason for the delay.
"Both 'Iraq' and 'Enquiry' have a q in them, and I think our designers have done something very nice with that," said Sir John. "But there still remains the question of colour. Then again, do we just want solid colour on the front, something more textured, or maybe a picture? It's a lot to think about."
Earlier delays to publishing the report include disagreements over which font to use, running out of toner just after Rymans had closed for the bank holiday weekend, and the discovery that the final report was too thick to staple, "even with one of those really big staplers".
"We had to punch holes in the corner, and then hold the pages together with one of those things - you know, two bits of metal with a bit of string between them. Unfortunately no one could remember what they were called, so that wasted a couple of days."
However, Sir John strenuously denied that he was under any political pressure to delay the report as long as possible.
"No, no, not at all," he said, as the red dot hovered menacingly on his forehead. "I'm sure Mr Blair wholeheartedly welcomes the publication of this report. After all, I made all the corrections he suggested to the first draft."
