History is made as the Honourable Lord Prescott of Boats, Pugilism and the Common Peoples Right to Tripe is suspended from the House of Lords.
Earlier today there was absolute chaos as the House of Lords was evacuated following a what was initually suspected to be a terrorist gas attack. After the chaos of getting the older peers to safety without the use of Stannah Stairlifts and amid the debris of used incontinence equipment it became clear that the noxious substance was something altogether more sinister.
Chief Fire Marshall of the Rolls, Bernard Hornung stated between tears and sobbing chokes that the cause of the incident had been traced to the Seat of Lord Prescott. "We have absolutely no doubt the The Honourable Gentleman guffed, and we would advise all members against eating Bubble & Squeak in the future..