Details have been leaked of a Blue Sky conference with PR consultants flown in from Washington, DC for an emergency meeting. Items on the agenda, this source has learned, included "How to Reduce Expectations Raised By Electioneering". Naturally, this included rash rabbitting on about tax codes and so forth. It has emerged that while the highly profitable tax consultancy, financial services and recovery apparat is unwilling to envisage meaningful reform, 76% would consent to switch sides if enforcement were to become profitable. A compromise position has therefore been reached.
The process will supply a scientific basis for revision and is expected to produce an efficient result.
Firms and individuals dealing with tax issues are to be re-licensed. Those wishing to participate must register at the till, with the Ministry, Companies House and Treasury. The existing 10,000 page tax document, having been divided into bundles of equal length and as many portions as there are registered participants having tendered their bid, will be assigned Lot numbers. Those firms not tendering will be dissolved.
Each section of the Tax Code will be reformed when, and only when, each of its provisions has been satisfactorily enforced at least once on the entire population of the United Kingdom. The new simplified tax code will then be drafted taking into account enforcement successes and failures.
On the deadline for the promised reform, sections of the tax code will be allocated to each firm, by lottery. Each Lot will then become the exclusive enforcement and reform property of the firm having successfully tendered by lottery. The starter will fire a pistol and PR reps from each of the companies will race to microphones, blogs, direct mail outlets, Google Adwords and throw themselves at the BBC beginning the serious business of making the laws of this nation both profitable and efficient.
When reached at the Chandos House reception at the close of an interesting 4-day event, no-one in the cabinet or the Financial Services would comment on this information, on the record.