The line-up to the Glastonbury Festival’s ‘Swing to the Right’ field, a stage dedicated to the promotion of unprogressive values, has been announced. The event promises four days of right-wing music, politically incorrect comedy and racist juggling.
Events will kick off with festival regular Jim Davidson, fresh from his ‘All White? All Right!’ tour, who will be celebrating his recent resurgence as a national treasure by brushing off his old ‘Chalky White’ routines. Meanwhile, on the Enoch Powell stage, the EDL’s cultural division will be showing off their traditional folk-dancing moves, and festival favourites the Continuation Black and White Minstrels, a splinter group from the original troupe, will be entertaining revellers with their patronising take on old-time favourites.
Gary Bushell will be curating sets by his favourite ‘Oi!’ bands, while those wishing to get more involved can meet real ageing skinheads to take part in fighting workshops across the weekend.
However, at the heart of the festivities will be political debate, with this year’s schedule boasting appearances from Peter Hitchens, Katie Hopkins and a rotating line-up of sacked UKIP fruitcakes (names to be confirmed), representing the full breadth of Conservative thinking, debating such topics as ‘have the towel-heads gone too far this time?’, ‘the gays: Paedos or just perverts?’ and ‘racism in the UK – Let’s have more of it’. Remember, views can be quite forthright so expect a surprise visit from Peter Tatchell before the night is out!
The Field was created in 2005 by Billy Bragg in order to represent the cultural traditions of indigenous bigots in the UK, and has since flourished into a three day celebration of all things reactionary. Billy told us: ‘I realised that festival-goers from the Left were being catered for with simple-minded idealistic songs and circular debates, while those on the Right were being neglected – repressed you might say. I spoke of their struggle to Russell Brand and he was on board as soon as I mentioned it was for a minority.’
While Swing to the Right is the latest in a long line of political events taking place in the festival's Confirmation Bias Zone, some have been critical, saying they should only put on left-wing shows. However, Billy disagrees: 'When you think about it, what could be more Conservative than paying through the nose to stand in a field of venture capitalists selling overpriced tat from sweatshops, while watching super-rich people having a better time than you in the middle distance?’
