Waterloo Station, 22nd July
Commuters expecting the usual chaos were pleasantly surprised this morning to find that a State of Rapture had been established.
on the Concourse and the Kingdom of God was in the Ticket Machines.
Network Rail employee Jeffrey John-the Baptist
was so enraged yesterday by the recalcitrant machine's inability to sell a cheap ticket that he produced a Grail of Holy Water and Baptised them in the Name of Goodness before anyone from Network Rail could stop him.
Travellers were delighted to find that they could now journey to Enlightenment with a Day Return (25p);
Days Out in Kent and Sussex
Canterbury - At your ticket office ask for an all-in-one Canterbury Passport ticket, providing you with entrance to the Cathedral, and Thorough Spanking administered by Archbishop Rowan Williams as he recites some W.H Auden.
Departs Platform 4 every hour
08:55 London Charing Cross towards the glory, goodness and infinite variety and beauty of God’s creation,Calling at all stations . . .London Waterloo East, London Bridge, Hither Green, Lee, Mottingham, New Eltham, Sidcup, Albany Park, Bexley and Crayford.
(£1.20, suffer the children)