Minor TV personality and car warranty salesman Quentin Wilson confirmed yesterday he’d invested in kit that made it “completely impossible not to get hold of me”, but categorically denied he was “hoping for a call about some job or other”.
“I’m not saying anyone will try to contact me,” declared Mr Wilson, “I’m just putting it out there that my satellite mobile is fully charged (and guaranteed to work underground even after a nuclear strike), my twitter account is @YesPleaseBBC, and I regularly drink at the Crown and Sceptre on Great Titchfield Street between the hours of 8am and 12pm. That’s behind Broadcasting House, you say? Wow. Who knew?”
Mr Wilson first learnt about machinery from his father, who was a code breaker at Bletchley Park during the war. “My dad routinely did the job of three men,” continued Mr Wilson, “and he taught me everything I know about patience. And intercepting communications. I can tell you now that Vicki Butler Henderson is unavailable - well, unreachable anyway. Got to dash – that plane flying overhead at 35,000 feet might have a message for me trailing behind it.”