NewsBiscuit : Hey Squirrels! We don't want to hurt you!

Hey Squirrels! We don't want to hurt you!

(5 posts) (4 voices)

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Tristan Shout

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Why do you run away at the first sight of us? At the first foot-fall? We're not trying to hurt you. We just want a closer look at you.
People don't eat squirrels any more.
Did they ever? Oh I don't know, but if we did, we're sorry and that was a long time ago.
Things are different now.
You're our connection to the countryside now. You're the woodland creature we can relate to.
Can I feed you from my hand? Look! I've got some nuts!
If you sat on my arm, I wouldn't hurt you.
Would you let me stroke you?
Please don't run away.
Oh you little fucker. Go on then! Piss off round the back of the tree.

Posted 2 years ago #
ramblesnake

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They're just cute rats, the American ones that is.

Posted 2 years ago #
riesler

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It's all the licking that scares them.

Posted 2 years ago #
la maga

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Bloody foreign interlopers, coming over here taking trees meant for decent hard-working red squirrels. Well may they run away. There will be rivers of squirrel blood, mark my words.

Posted 2 years ago #
Tristan Shout

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They sent their squirrels, and we sent our humans to similar effect..?

Posted 2 years ago #

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