Been dumped by tweet?
Have you just been dumped callously by somebody you imagined loved and respected you? Did he do it over Twitter ? Bastard. You’d...
Government achieves substantial growth in the can-kicking industry
The British can-kicking industry is booming – after a kick-start from the government. Critics say that it would be much cheaper to ship...
Petition to stop the use of petitions passes two million signatures
A petition submitted to the UK Parliament petitions website calling for an end to the acceptance of petitions as a means to obtain...
Dick Turpin knighted in New Year’s Honours
It was announced today that notorious highwayman Dick Turpin will receive a knighthood in the New Year’s Honours list. “We realise it’s a...
Corpse of Jimmy Carter still more alert than Joe Biden
Despite his recent death, President Carter is seen as the 'youth' option in comparison to Joe 'you can bury me, but you can't get rid of...
Nurses to make up their wages with tips, says Reeves.
Chancellor of the Exchequer, and proud owner of a Casio calculator watch, Rachel Reeves, has announced that to save the NHS money, nurses...
US ready to bring 'democracy' to Greenland
President Trump has indicated America's intention to capture Greenland - sorry, did we say 'capture'? We meant 'liberate'. Yes, liberate....
Tories urge that golf courses rush to identify any ancient walkways on their land
Golf courses are now in a hurry to identify any historic walkways on their land which the public enjoy a right to use, as they are now at...
Labour to assign nannies to 35 million British homes, deny accusations of nanny statism
Labour Party higher ups are refuting accusations of running a nanny state after parliament passed legislation allocating a female nanny...
Trump’s Christmas Bargain Hunt
President-to-be Trump has hit the headlines yet again regarding his proposals for the US to take over Greenland and the Panama Canal....
