The streets of Barnsley and Rotherham were in uproar this morning as people marched in protest. The resultant burning of off licences and takeaways was initiated by the shocking award of 1st Place to the Scottish for being the UK's Biggest Drinkers.
Councillor Albert Shawcross explained that across the South Yorkshire region there was an immense pride in people's ability to drink copius amounts of cheap warm beer. Apparently this goes back generations and is a custom encouraged in children at an early age. He stated "Sout Yorkshire has a strong working class tradition, and if there is one thing the working classes are good at its drinking beer. We will contest this and will demand a recount. It is important that South Yorkshire is recognised for its achievements".
Sources claim that the takeaways were attacked as a statement of the previously unjustly awarded 'Scotland Most Obese in Britain' survey.