Announcing the nationalisation of the tooth fairy, business secretary Vince Cable was upbeat about the savings to be made; "Some of these children are getting upwards of a fiver per tooth, when others are only receiving 50p or even less" he stated.
Government leaflets explaining the new procedures revealed all baby teeth will now have to be sent to the government central tooth collection centre, where a new DNA record will be created for each child. Upon a successful DNA/tooth match, £3.50 will be added to the parental tax liability and a £1.00 'tooth bond' will be sent to the child in due course. The unspent £2.50 difference will be split between administration costs of 50p and a £2.00 injection to the budget defecit fund.
Cable continued "with upwards of 100 million teeth going wastefully under the pillow each year, this is a surefire way of earning £250M from the nations youth."
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Tooth Fairy to be nationalised ensuring kids 'do their bit for the recovery'
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The Return of DroleNoel
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
Hunter F. Thompson
offlineMemberThe Toothfairy had more to do with Dumb Policy than it has with teeth, these days. Remember "Field of Dreams", (If you build it they will come..."). The Toothfairy now sits at the policy table under the motto: If you smash it, then play dumb, you'll make your fortune from the bones. We should start a website for The Toothfairy, because she's got plenty of bite.
Posted 2 years ago #
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